Colette Info Post + Syllabus

[thetoughestcook]

Colette Tatou was, as she tells us in Ratatouille, "the toughest cook" in famed chef Auguste Gusteau's kitchen. She worked incredibly hard in what she sees as the sexist world of haute cuisine to get to that position. Viewing cooking as a form of art, she is meticulous about technique and ingredients. However, she lacks the spark of imagination that would take her from "very good" to "great" -- as she tells someone she's mentoring, her job is to follow recipes, not create them.

She's blunt and can be abrasive toward others, especially if she feels challenged and they strike her as stupid or incompetent. She's completely capable of threatening or slamming knives around to make a point. However, if someone rolls with her and accepts that she generally knows what she's talking about, she relaxes and becomes a good friend.

She'll be tough on her students as a teacher, but not out of bounds, and she's generally more easy-going when she's off-duty.

She is very very French (duh), and speaks English as a second language, weeth a theek accent that I won't be typing out. And she looks a lot like Janeane Garofalo with no glasses, because Janeane was her voice actress, she has more or less the right coloring, and I love her lots.


Roster
Chuck Bass
Emma Frost
George Sands (TA)
Helen Haras-Uquara
Jean Grey
Joan Girardi
Kate Gregson
Kyle Reese
Layla Miller
Liir Thropp
Priestly (TA)
Sam Winchester
Sookie Stackhouse

Week 1: Prepare your current signature dish.
Week 2: Mise-en-place. Tools of the trade and readying your workstation.
Week 3: Basic stir-fry
Week 4: Eggs + Cheese
Week 5: Classic French sauces
Week 6: Vegetable dishes
Week 7: Fish + Seafood
Week 8: Midterm - TBA
Week 9: Quickbreads and muffins
Week 10: Yeast breads
Week 11: Soups
Week 12: Thanksgiving Meal
Week 13: Wine
Week 14: Confectionery -- candies and chocolate


Class Rules

• This is a kitchen. Things are sharp and they are hot. Be aware of those facts at all times.
  
• The responses to an order or question from Chef Colette are 'yes chef,' 'no chef' and 'right away, chef.' Arguing with her in a disrespectful manner is likely to get you kitchen clean-up duty if she's feeling benevolent, detention if she isn't.
  
• Don't argue with your fellow students, either. Colette will just think you're both morons and act accordingly.

She could use a good TA or two! Comment here for great RNG justice. All comments are screened -- I'll unscreen non-TA-related stuff.

Comments

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Great, great, GREAT choice for a PB. I so love this moooooooooovie!

[thetoughestcook]

Me too!

I was so psyched when I found out Janeane did her voice, since it made the choice so much easier. Let's see, I need a petite brunette who looks like she might use a rolling pin as a weapon ... hello, Ms. Garofalo!

[glacial_queen]

I hope you'll be teaching something like this again! And won't mind a student who canonically blows up kitchens.

I could find a different way to ruin a meal every week!

...Is it possible to set things on fire, but still get an 'A' for effort if it was obvious she's at least trying?

[thetoughestcook]

Colette: "Mademoiselle Karla, I do not understand this! You try, and your stove is fine, and our ingredients are good ... and yet, every week, disaster! How?"

She'd have Karla on permanent cleanup duty. And might even grudgingly give an A for effort.

(I am not sure about next semester; we'll see!)

[glacial_queen]

Karla: *covered in eggs and flour* I don't know! *wails* I didn't even use Craft this time! Would you still like to try one of the cookies? *offers*

At least Karla's used to permanent cleanup duty. She's getting really good at cleaning scorchmarks, too.